you're a sort of walking miracle. with those bright blue eyes that are as big as the ocean, and your soft sandy brown hair that blows in the gentle breeze. you had just learned how to walk before the accident. we thought you'd never recover. and now you're taking your first steps with that tiny little walker, looking back at us and grinning. your tiny little hands grip the sides, and you step, one foot in front of the other. you look back again and giggle. that sweet giggle that we all so dearly missed. i can't stop the tears. the doctors thought you'd never walk again. each day you get stronger, your spirit has never been broken. your momma told you every day that she loved you, and you said, "I know." you never gave up. i don't think you even knew what you were fighting for, but you never wavered. those tiny little legs, bruised and beaten by the car, somehow came back to life, and now you're walking again.
you're sort of a walking miracle.
when i had finished this, a lot of the people on the board wanted me to expand on this piece so here's the expansion:
that night was a beautiful one. it was snowing out. it was one of those evenings that you'd love to sit on a bench and watch the snow fall, listen to the beautiful sound of nothing as the white flakes touch the ground. you were sound asleep in your car seat. when i looked back at you, your rosy cheeks were glowing and i couldn't help but smile. we were on our way back from the ice skating park. you just loved watching all the people and playing in the snow.
my favorite paul mccartney song came on: no more lonely nights. i started humming. the wind began to blow harder, and the snow was falling faster. i could barely see. my heart started racing and i kept checking the mirror, making sure you were still asleep, safe. then in a split second, the car started swerving. i couldn't stop. it spun off the road and then i don't remember.
7:06 pm. that was the last time i saw on the clock. when i woke up with was 8:12. i felt woozy, and my head felt wet. i was bleeding, but that didn't matter. i looked back to find you, but you weren't there. i started screaming, broke the window and climbed out, tearing my clothes. i was frantic, searching, yelling for you. then i heard you whimper. you had been thrown from the car. i saw your tiny body in the snow, shivering. why didn't the car seat protect you? did i strap it in tight enough? i began trying to recount everything we'd done before we left the park. did i buckle you in right? i can't believe i'd let you lay there for so long. my baby, my poor, sweet baby. "momma loves you. momma's here. momma loves you." i stroked her bloody head.
everything happened in a flash. i saw the lights of the ambulance after what seemed like forever, and they tried fixing my head, but i made them look at your first. your little face was blue, and your legs. my god, your legs. they were lifeless. black and blue. all i could do was cry. if i hadn't been passed out for so long, maybe you wouldn't be so hurt. maybe i could have done something. "momma's here. momma loves you."
the police told me we were lucky to be alive. the car wrapped itself around atree, and threw my sweet Evie through the window. i left with a few cuts and a concussion, and my baby is in the ICU. it should e me in there.
we waited. for days. your tiny little body was fighting to stay alive. rob tried comforting me, telling me it wasn't my fault. all i could do was think about her tiny body laying there in the snow. her face covered with blood, her skin cold as ice. how could a mother let that happen?
when you opened those bright blue eyes, it was like the day you were born again. i was so happy. i kept holding your little hand. "momma's here sweetie. momma loves you. i'll never leave, ok?"
when they took the tubes out of your mouth, the first thing you said was "momma". you reached out to me. all i could do was cry. you still loved me. after all that. you still loved me.
my Evie, my little miracle. momma loves you. momma won't ever leave you. never, never.
No comments:
Post a Comment